Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is
- The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.
- Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.
- People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.
- It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening.
- Regular customers included:
- A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject
- A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”
- An actual group of Neo-Nazis
- An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
- Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
- A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”
- I have more these are just off the top of my head
I can’t believe I forgot
- two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not
- I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.
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